Dark Side of the Moon Tonight

dsotm

lakenatronbirdI’m burning letters I wrote you
On the dark side of the moon tonight.
They were written in a past life,
When I believed I could detoxify
All this bad blood passing underneath
Burning bridges I lit to light my way
Towards a better past.

I misread the scars across my skin
Thinking it a map towards healing;
Towards restoring the illusion
That everything
Was always and perfectly fine.
Any distortion in the picture,
Was mine-
Always and forever,
Mine.

The direct result of a cracked lens
I couldn’t see through.
The lens,
You know,
The one I inherited from you.

But I believed forgiveness was due,
It was my fault
For not getting out the way
Of your runaway train.
My fault,
Because that was holy,
Or so your pastor told me.

He taught me forgiveness
Was the ultimate sign of faith.
Forgiveness the sign of God’s grace.
Forgiveness the sign of God’s favor.
Letting love cover a multitude of sins,
Sins – a kind name for your abusiveness.

But somewhere along the way,
I have learned there is a difference,
Between covering and cover up,
So when I stood up
With arms outstretched to build distance
Between me and the pain,
I was marked out as a godless thing of shame.

Calling the distance antithetical to love
Because I would not hug the battering ram
Of your bitter brutality.

You see,
The bruises,
The scars,
The inescapable memories,
Have taught me
This
One
Thing:

There is no hope for a better past.
I am better served burning these letters
On the dark side of the moon tonight
To rise to my feet
And fight these ghosts
Until come the morning light.

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About St Basil Z Fish

Curator of the strange and incredibly awkward. A rambling writer with the misguided notion he has something to say. His only redeeming qualities are his wife and children.
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3 Responses to Dark Side of the Moon Tonight

  1. eddaz says:

    I love this poetry so much. Every word is like a jolt😊

    Liked by 1 person

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